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Worried about nuclear war?? Survival Tips for the Post-Nuclear World

Posted on: 31 July 2017

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Well, we all knew what was coming when Kim Jong Un decided to push the big red button. We all watched the mushroom clouds rising into the sky like giant harbingers of doom. I sure hope we all went inside to wait out the worst of the radiation. For those of us left after the nuclear winter, life has to go on, and we all have to learn to live frugally. Here are a few tips from the post-nuclear wasteland to remember the next time you venture into the glowing ash.

Cigarettes and Alcohol aren’t worth it

alcohol trade I know, I know, even before the North Koreans decided to give a gift of missiles to their right-wing oppressors, people were telling you that these weren’t good things to spend on. After all, they’re expensive, don’t do much for your health, and are nowhere near necessary. Sure, they’re fun and it can be soul-crushing to imagine life without these things, but you’re much better off swapping any booze or cigs for food, blankets and water filters.

Remember that every bit of trade goods and essentials that you can cobble together matters, and the next time a mutated creature from the wastelands damages your buggy or you need more bullets to defend against the mutated desert raiders you’d much rather have not spent your bottle caps on a fifth of tequila or a carton of cigarettes.

Travelling Is Expensive - For a vacation, or otherwise

desolate_travel Going outside and travelling was expensive even before you had to fashion lead-lined underwear for it. I remember my vacations as happy times, but I always had to tighten my belt afterwards. Now that travelling means using up a lot of ammo, scarce gas, water purifiers and iodine tablets, I think we can all appreciate that skipping a trip might be a drag, but can save you some major time and effort, not to mention getting us some peace of mind when you don’t have to deplete your stocks of essentials.

Even when you do need to get away, always consider travelling somewhere nearby. The exotic places, in addition to being entirely radioactive now, don’t offer quite as many comforts over nearby places as you might think and often aren’t worth the cost. Not to mention that only gambling destinations around these days only offer one game: Russian Roulette.

Shelter In Place

Tonight’s forecast is for some severe gamma rays and for a continued nuclear winter wonderland, so while you’re making your radioactive snowman, remember that sheltering in place makes sense, whether you’re living through a Houston summer or a nuclear apocalypse. Going places is fun, and sometimes necessary, but it’s rarely cheap. Frugal habits mean a more secure lifestyle, and when your nearest water source glows faintly in the dark, security is important.

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